Raising Children with the Wisdom of Japji Sahib

Why Japji Sahib for Parents?

Over 500 years ago, Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji revealed Japji Sahib — the Bani (prayer) that opens the Eternal Guru, Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. It explores life's biggest questions: What is the nature of Waheguru (the Divine)? Why are we here? How should we live?

Japji Sahib is a practical manual for living — and that includes raising children, caring for your family, nurturing your community, and looking after yourself. Its teachings are universal and apply to all people regardless of their faith or beliefs.

This guide attempts to distil Japji Sahib's wisdom into ten practical principles for busy parents. Each principle is grounded in the original text, simplified for daily life, and designed to be used immediately — tonight, tomorrow morning, this weekend.

The wisdom of Japji Sahib is accessible to all. All that is needed is a willing heart.

Principle 1: Start Your Day Before Your Kids Do

Japji Sahib teaches that the early morning hours — before dawn — are the most powerful time for reflection, prayer, and setting your intentions. Sikhs call this Amrit Vela.

For parents, this is transformative. Waking even 20 minutes before your children gives you time to breathe, centre yourself, and approach the day from a place of calm rather than chaos. It is the difference between reacting to your children and responding to them.

Start small. Even five minutes of silence, a short prayer, or simply sitting with a warm drink and setting your intention can reframe your day. It is the consistency that builds the foundation.

Principle 2: Accept What You Cannot Control

Japji Sahib's central teaching is Hukam — accepting the Divine Will. Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji says that nothing is outside of Waheguru's Command. When we fight reality, we suffer. When we accept it and work within it, we find peace.

For parents, this is liberating. You cannot control your child's temperament, their struggles at school, their friendships, or the world they are growing up in. You can only control how you respond.

Hukam invites us to trust the Divine plan. It means doing our best and then surrendering the outcome to Waheguru. It means embracing the child in front of you — with all their unique quirks and energy — as a perfect gift.

Principle 3: Overcome the Ego, Your Greatest Parenting Hurdle

Japji Sahib identifies “haumai” — ego — as the fundamental barrier between us and the Divine. In parenting, ego shows up constantly: 'My child should be the best.' 'What will people think?' 'I already told you once!'

When we parent from ego, we make our children's lives about us. Their achievements become our trophies. Their failures become our shame. Their independence feels like rejection.

Guru Sahib's antidote is simple: remember that your children are not yours. They are gifts from Waheguru, placed in your care temporarily. Your job is to guide them, not to own them. This single shift — from 'my child' to 'Waheguru's child in my care' — transforms how you discipline, encourage, and let go.

Principle 4: Listen Before You Lecture

Four entire stanzas of Japji Sahib are devoted to Suniai — deep listening. Guru Sahib says that listening brings wisdom, destroys pain, washes away wrongdoing, and opens the door to the Divine.

Children spell love L-I-S-T-E-N. Before you correct, advise, or fix — just listen. Let your child finish their sentence. Make eye contact. Put down your phone. Ask 'tell me more' instead of 'here is what you should do.'

Deep listening is not passive. It is one of the most powerful things a parent can do. When a child feels truly heard, their behaviour improves, their trust deepens, and their willingness to listen to you increases dramatically.

Principle 5: Model It, Don't Just Teach It

Japji Sahib distinguishes between Suniai (hearing the truth) and Mannai (accepting and living it). Knowledge that stays in the head is useless. Wisdom is knowledge that changes behaviour.

Children learn far more from watching you than from listening to you. If you tell them to be honest but they see you lie on the phone, they learn dishonesty. If you tell them to be kind but they hear you gossip about the neighbours, they learn cruelty.

The most powerful parenting tool is not a lecture — it is your own example. Pray, and they will learn to pray. Serve others, and they will learn generosity. Manage your anger, and they will learn self-control. Apologise when you are wrong, and they will learn humility.

Principle 6: Fight the Five Thieves — In Yourself First

Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji identifies five vices that steal inner peace: lust (Kaam), anger (Krodh), greed (Lobh), attachment (Moh), and pride (Ahunkar). These are not just adult problems — they are family problems.

Anger turns discipline into damage. Greed makes you work late instead of being present. Attachment makes you cling to your children instead of letting them grow. Pride makes you compete with other parents instead of supporting them.

The five virtues that replace them — giving, contentment, compassion, righteous living, and truthfulness — are the foundation of a healthy family. A content parent raises secure children. A compassionate parent raises empathetic children. A truthful parent raises honest children.

Principle 7: Build a Village — Join a Sangat

Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji repeatedly emphasises Sangat — the company of those who seek truth. The closing Salok says that those who meditate on Naam radiate light and uplift everyone around them.

Parenting was never meant to be done alone. Modern life has isolated families into individual units, but human beings are designed for community. You need other parents who share your values, who will watch your kids, who will tell you the truth when you are struggling.

This does not have to be a religious community (though it can be). It can be a group of neighbours, a parenting circle, or a few trusted friends who meet regularly. The point is: surround yourself with people who make you a better person and parent.

Principle 8: Serve Together as a Family

Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji's life was built on Seva — serving others without expecting anything in return. In Sikh Gurdwaras, everyone — regardless of status — sits on the floor and eats the same food together. This is called Langar, and it is a radical act of equality.

Families that serve together grow together. When children see their parents helping others — cooking for a neighbour, volunteering at a shelter, cleaning up a park — they develop empathy, gratitude, and perspective.

Service also cures the entitlement epidemic. A child who has helped serve meals to those who have less is a child who complains less about what is on their own plate.

Principle 9: You Are the Goldsmith — Be Patient with the Process

The final Pauri of Japji Sahib compares spiritual growth to a goldsmith refining gold. The workshop is self-restraint. The goldsmith is patience. The anvil is knowledge. The fire is discipline. The bellows are love.

Parenting is exactly this process — except you are refining both yourself and your child simultaneously. It is slow. It is hot. It requires patience, discipline, knowledge, and above all, love.

There is no shortcut. Your child will not become kind, brave, or wise overnight. Neither will you. But every day that you show up — imperfect, trying, loving — you are doing the work of the goldsmith. Trust the process.

Principle 10: Take Care of Yourself — You Cannot Pour from an Empty Cup

We are caretakers of this sacred vessel (body). Treating our bodies with respect is a form of worship and a vital responsibility.

Burnt-out parents cannot raise thriving children. If you are running on empty — skipping meals, losing sleep, ignoring your health, numbing with screens — your children feel it. They absorb your stress like sponges.

Guru Sahib teaches gratitude as medicine. Every day, you have been given air to breathe, food to eat, and children to love. Pausing to notice these gifts — even for 30 seconds — rewires your brain from scarcity to abundance.

A Final Word

Japji Sahib was revealed for everyone — teachers, engineers, parents, and workers — illuminating the path to the Divine amidst the beauty of daily life.

Parenting is a journey of continuous growth. There will be moments of challenge, but also moments of profound grace. Each mistake is an opportunity to learn and return to the path. This is the human experience.

But here is Guru Nanak's promise: grace is real. Every morning is a fresh start. Every Amrit Vela is a chance to begin again. And the fact that you are reading a guide like this — that you care enough to try — means the goldsmith is already at work.

Rise early. Listen deeply. Accept what comes. Serve others. Love your children. Take care of yourself. And trust that the One who created this universe is taking care of you too.